Sometimes a picture is all it takes. ..

People can argue with me til they are blue in the face, but I truly think there are "skinny minded" and "fat minded" people. . .basically, what I mean is that I think for some people the "food stuff" and "exercise stuff" just comes easier and more naturally than others.  I think they are born that way.  And maybe being born with a great metabolism doesn't hurt either. 

Then there are the "fat minded" people, which are not necessarily people who are fat, but people who struggle every day with food and exercise and they have to work really hard at winning the war on food and exercise.

Throughout my journey I have met a number of "fat minded" people who have found their way and are winning the war on food and exercise.  But by their FB and blog posts, I know it hasn't come easy to them and they have lots of blood sweat and tears to know only get where they are, but to stay where they are can almost be harder.  I find these people amazingly inspiring to me each and every day and I will tag those of you that I can via FB.

I am a "fat-minded" person.  Except for the brief period of time in my life when I was on the best drug on the planet phen-fen, I do mental gymnastics with food every day.  Whether I am being on and perfect with Weight Watchers or eating yours, mine and the neighbor's share of points - I ponder about each and every morsel of food that I eat.  Sometimes I don't think and eat and ponder about my bad choice after and sometimes I plan and think and have a fabulous healthy day of eating.  Regardless, lots and lots of time is spent thinking about food.  Either being in control of my choices and thinking about it before, or feeling guilty about it and thinking about it after.

Overall, I am a bazillion times healthier now than I was a year ago.  Even my naughtiest eating moments are far better than what I ate on a regular basis a year ago - let alone what I ate when I was naughty back then.  And I have won many food and exercise battles over the last year, but like my other inspiring friends I have not won the war quite yet.  Currently I am in the middle of a tough battle and the food seems to keep winning more than I would like it too.  I am on and then I am off.  On Friday night I even talked myself into believing that eating McDonald's at 9pm at night for dinner was a good choice because it doesn't agree with me and would go right through me - like my own special cleanse (I am firmly convinced it is the reason for my one pound weight loss at WW).  I had a mostly decent food eating weekend. ..except for the not so good moments.. .but overall, for a person being on maintenance it probably balanced out - but that is not me as  I am a long long way from maintenance.

Last night we went to dinner to Benihana's with cousins to celebrate my upcoming birthday and our cousin's birthday in December.  It was a most delicious dinner and worth every point that was consumed (how can I not have their most delicious fried rice made with tons of garlic butter???) and a great evening spent with relatives.  I was looking forward to having a picture taken to capture the evening!

When I saw the picture I gasped. . .my fat that I have been so successful at losing apparently missed me so much that some of it decided to plant itself right on my face.  The first place it goes whenever it comes to visit.  Ughhh. . .

I immediately pulled up a picture I know I took just a few months ago with a much smaller face.  I kept saying "omg, omg, omg, how did I let this happen"?

My ever fabulous daughter said, "uh yeah, you need to get back to being better with your points, but look at this. . .".  She was quiet and studying my phone for a while and then handed me my phone again and said " But at least you aren't like this picture again, so you are still a lot smaller today, just not as small as the one you just showed me with that really bad haircut."  

I love the honesty of a 10 year old daughter. . .honest enough to acknowledge my face is pudgier today then a few months ago, but kind and loving enough to remember and point out to me I am not as large as when I first started my weight loss journey a year ago.

Its amazing that this morning how I woke up empowered by the words of a 10 year old and the picture collage she made for me. . .

And just in case you were wondering, yesterday it might have been kicking my tush, but  today I am absolutely winning the battle with food. . .

I will win this war. ..its just a little harder (or a lot harder) and taking a little longer (okay, a lot longer) than I first thought.  ..

I am Cheating on My Diet and It Needs to Stop. ..

Ok, I'll admit it. Halloween did me in.  I had every intention of sticking with my healthy eating and exercise program, but it all went to sh#t over Halloween. More than likely, I probably consumed upwards of 3,000 calories. DAILY. But who really knows. . .I lost track.  From October 31st thru TODAY.  But instead of turning ten bad days into a month-long diet detour, I am once again picking myself up & getting back on the diet bandwagon. Or the healthy eating and exercise train.

I know.  Its never too late and thank god tomorrow is a new day and specifically WEIGHT WATCHERS WEIGH IN DAY.   I have every intention of being fabulously appalled when I step on the scale - its just what I need. 

I have used Allie's theater schedule as an excuse as well, for far too long actually, to my crappy eating.  If theater is going to be her world for now, with soccer, guitar, Hebrew school and homework thrown in then I have to just go against my grain and start planning better for better food choices.

A dinner of popchips and diet coke at the theater is not cutting it because then I am ravenous when I get home and am eating everything quick, easy and junky.  

Next week I know going in that I am leaving the house at 5 something and not returning until 9 or 10 something EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT because its Tech Week for Seussical Jr.. . .so yes, I will pack a little lunch box of healthy food choices - or know what food choices are at Scottsdale Fashion and figure out the points before my day starts. . . I really have no other options.

I need to start my week off right with a good workout. Hit the gym. I need to get back to my Couch to 5K program. . .Rich is returning back home and Allie will no longer be sleeping in my bed and my cold is virtually gone. . .NO EXCUSES.  Working out has to be a priority and getting my body moving because I have to get rid of those extra calories I have consumed.   I need to make sure I am back to drinking lots of water - 32 ounces of ice tea a day is probably not a valid substitute.  I need to get back to journaling/tracking/blogging - write down what I eat, how much I exercise and how I am feeling. The things that worked for me when I started this last November.

Most of all, I realized my success in the beginning was because certainly helped by the fact that I started with a friend and life got in the way and we no longer go to WW meetings together.  On a daily basis for months, we talked about points and food choices.  It was in the forefront of everything I did.  I totally need to recruit a partner, or partners, in crime to help me get back on track and make it through the holiday season without packing on the pounds. 

It is my 44th birthday on November 21st, what better gift to give myself this year than the gift of being able to get back on track to doing what I need to do to wear that friggen TANK TOP ONCE AND FOR ALL?

Wanna be my partner in crime at Weight Watchers?