Then there are the "fat minded" people, which are not necessarily people who are fat, but people who struggle every day with food and exercise and they have to work really hard at winning the war on food and exercise.
Throughout my journey I have met a number of "fat minded" people who have found their way and are winning the war on food and exercise. But by their FB and blog posts, I know it hasn't come easy to them and they have lots of blood sweat and tears to know only get where they are, but to stay where they are can almost be harder. I find these people amazingly inspiring to me each and every day and I will tag those of you that I can via FB.
I am a "fat-minded" person. Except for the brief period of time in my life when I was on the best drug on the planet phen-fen, I do mental gymnastics with food every day. Whether I am being on and perfect with Weight Watchers or eating yours, mine and the neighbor's share of points - I ponder about each and every morsel of food that I eat. Sometimes I don't think and eat and ponder about my bad choice after and sometimes I plan and think and have a fabulous healthy day of eating. Regardless, lots and lots of time is spent thinking about food. Either being in control of my choices and thinking about it before, or feeling guilty about it and thinking about it after.
Overall, I am a bazillion times healthier now than I was a year ago. Even my naughtiest eating moments are far better than what I ate on a regular basis a year ago - let alone what I ate when I was naughty back then. And I have won many food and exercise battles over the last year, but like my other inspiring friends I have not won the war quite yet. Currently I am in the middle of a tough battle and the food seems to keep winning more than I would like it too. I am on and then I am off. On Friday night I even talked myself into believing that eating McDonald's at 9pm at night for dinner was a good choice because it doesn't agree with me and would go right through me - like my own special cleanse (I am firmly convinced it is the reason for my one pound weight loss at WW). I had a mostly decent food eating weekend. ..except for the not so good moments.. .but overall, for a person being on maintenance it probably balanced out - but that is not me as I am a long long way from maintenance.
Last night we went to dinner to Benihana's with cousins to celebrate my upcoming birthday and our cousin's birthday in December. It was a most delicious dinner and worth every point that was consumed (how can I not have their most delicious fried rice made with tons of garlic butter???) and a great evening spent with relatives. I was looking forward to having a picture taken to capture the evening!
When I saw the picture I gasped. . .my fat that I have been so successful at losing apparently missed me so much that some of it decided to plant itself right on my face. The first place it goes whenever it comes to visit. Ughhh. . .
I immediately pulled up a picture I know I took just a few months ago with a much smaller face. I kept saying "omg, omg, omg, how did I let this happen"?
My ever fabulous daughter said, "uh yeah, you need to get back to being better with your points, but look at this. . .". She was quiet and studying my phone for a while and then handed me my phone again and said " But at least you aren't like this picture again, so you are still a lot smaller today, just not as small as the one you just showed me with that really bad haircut."
I love the honesty of a 10 year old daughter. . .honest enough to acknowledge my face is pudgier today then a few months ago, but kind and loving enough to remember and point out to me I am not as large as when I first started my weight loss journey a year ago.
Its amazing that this morning how I woke up empowered by the words of a 10 year old and the picture collage she made for me. . .
And just in case you were wondering, yesterday it might have been kicking my tush, but today I am absolutely winning the battle with food. . .
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