Day 33-38 - Too Scared to Eat. . .

I had another nice weight loss last Wednesday at my weight in - down 1.2 for a total of 8.8 pounds. . .and yes, I love the stickers and clapping that happens at the WW meetings! I will admit - I am so motivated to do well because I know I will get weighed every week and the look on the weigh-in lady's face says it all.  The one week I went up .2. . .yes,  .2 pounds brought a very different look on her face than when I lost.

I didn't have any fabulous food discoveries this week. . . .although I was very excited to learn that the latkes we buy (Golden Potato Pancakes - sold at Albertson's & Safeway) were only 2 points when they are baked and not fried!! 

We had some friends over for a holiday White Elephant Party  (went through close to 100 latkes for about 30 people and some people told me on Sunday that they only got one or none because they went flying off the plate so fast!) and it was potluck.  People were supposed to bring appetizers or desserts and we were providing latkes and drinks.  At the last minute, Rich & I bought lots of fruits and veggies as we were nervous that everyone would bring yummy food that we shouldn't really eat on our diets.

Well, glad we did because other than one friend, everyone brought really yummy dips and food and desserts and I had NO CLUE what the point value was on most of anything!!  I totally knew to stay away from the decadent desserts - brownies, cheesecake, cookies, homd made large cookie cake, pumpkin spice cakes.  While I was busy checking the point value for potstickers that someone made, they disappeared so quickly that I didn't get to have one!  Someone brought those yummy Hebrew national pigs-in-a-blanket (I always find it completely wrong to call a Jewish food pigs-in-a-blanket), but they were 8 points for 5 tiny things and so I stayed away from them.  There was some really delicious dips that were chock full of cheese, but stayed away from those too because of not knowing the points - I am sure if I had JUST ONE bit it would be fine, but sometimes for me it is easier to have nothing than stop at JUST ONE.  Someone made yummy chicken tortilla rolls, and I assume they would have only been 2 points or so per piece, but again, not knowing made me stay away.  So ultimately, I found I was too scared to eat the foods because either the points were too high or I didn't know the points and didn't want to eat too much of something unknown.

So, I had 3 latkes for 6 points and lots of fruits and veggies and some hummus (about 2 points worth) and then a frozen WW entree at 10:30pm because I was starving!

I wasn't upset about not really eating more at my own party- I know I could have and could have guesstimated the points, but I made a conscious choice and I was okay with that.  I was happy to have some Latkes and hummus and fruits and veggies. . .I just found it amusing that I ate so little in the day to save so many points for the party at night and then not eat because I was too scared. . .

Days 29, 30, 31 & 32 - "Mommy - THAT is what you weigh? I didn't know the scale went that high!"

Somehow the days have escaped me and I find I have 4 days to blog about. . .I'd like to say I have been so busy working out that I haven't been near the computer, but that just would not be true.

Allie and I actually have picked up a new hobby - knitting on a loom!!  So fun and soooooo easy!!  And keeps my hands too busy for snacking!!


I have had a few fun food discoveries over the past few days - one is that Trader Joe's is just AWESOME for someone on WW.  So many great food options and such good point levels.  Some of my faves are the Cioppino (4 points per cup and 2 cups in the bag for $6); the Shrimp Stir Fry (4 points per cup) and the Chicken Stir Fry (5 points per cup); and the Curry Rice & Veggie Mix at 4 points per cup.  All of these are delicious and surprising filing for dinner with a big salad.  They also have a burrito that is only 6 points - but truthfully, the ones from Costco are much tastier and the same 6 points.  Yes, they are probably "better" for you at Trader Joe's, but I am all about the points and the taste and more preservatives or other "crap" is not going to effect the scale, so for now I prefer the Costco one.

Another fabulous discovery was the Solona Beach Salad at Chompie's. . .it was a fabulous salad with lots of fresh fruit, 2 ounces of chicken, 1 ounces of toasted almonds all on a bed of lettuce and the MOST delicious lowfat/low call yogurt dressing on the planet.  Really.  It was heavenly.  Tasted kind of like an Orange Julius. 

Oh yeah - another yummy snack discovery for 2 points are the 90 Calorie Fiber 1 bars (brownie, chocolate and peanut butter/chocolate).  I always care a zone bar in my purse for "emergencies" - I know my downfall is if I am out longer than planned and get HHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUNNGGRRRY - that is when trouble happens.  And while I do walk around with sliced apples and snap peas on a regular basis, sometimes I really need protein.  And while the Zone bar is great for protein, it is also pretty high in points at 5 points per bar.  While this Fiber One bar might not fill me up for as long - it is certainly more than enough to take the edge of and its very yummy and for 2 points, I think its a win-win.

On the exercise note, I bought a pedometer. .this one!  And let me tell you, while I never hit 10,000 steps since I began wearing it on Saturday, I was much closer on Saturday & Sunday (6832, 8302 on sun., 7409 on sat.).  The irony is that I did 10 minutes of Wii Fit (yeah, I know, not too long, but Allie walked in the room and wanted to do Just Dance with me) and then 40 minutes of Just Dance and I was so excited to start the day out with almost 3000 steps by 7:45am that I thought FOR SURE I would hit 10000 steps by the end of the day.  Yeah, no so much.  And today. . .it is 1:03pm and I am at  a whopping 894 steps. . .who knew I was so sedentary during the day? 

So, my personal challenge is to figure out how to get more steps in my day.  Even the workout in the morning is not going to take care of that, as demonstrated by yesterday.  Somehow, someway I need to figure out how to be more active the rest of the day.. .

My other new experiment is eating 1/2 grapefruit 30 minutes before each meal.  Why?  One of my fave magazines, Good Housekeeping, just had a blurb in it that said eating half a grapefruit before each meal or drinking a serving of the juice three times a day helped people drop more than three pounds over 12 weeks. The fruit's phytochemicals reduce insulin levels, a process that may force your body to convert calories into energy rather than flab.

So, my thought is that I like grapefruit and why not give it a try?  Grapefruits are no points and if it works, it didn't cost me anything and if it doesn't work, no harm done - right?

And finally, when we went to buy the pedometer at REI, the nice cute boy asked me if I wanted him to set it up for me. ..I jumped at his kindness and said yes.  Next thing I knew at the end of the counter he was asking me my weight. .MY WHAT????. . .really??? That isn't even on my driver's license accurately!  So I said "my what"?  Yes, I really said that.  I was stalling. ..not sure why - maybe I was wondering if I said 110 would he question it. . .So he said "your weight.?". ..So I just said it nonchalantly like it was no big deal. And to his credit, to him, it wasn't.  He inputted it and off we went.

The minute we get in the car Allie says, "1#0??? OMG, I didn't know scales went up that high.  . "  Its moments of truth like that, that often work better than any tank stop or size 8 jeans I could ever hang on my fridge would. . .

Day 27 & 28.. .7.6 pound loss!!

Ok, yes, I know its not even 10 pounds yet (have I told you in a week less than me my hubby has lost over 15 pounds on his Caveman diet???), but I lost 3 pounds at my weigh-in on Wednesday and I was really happy.  Almost giddy.  Yep, giddy over the scale.  I know I shouldn't give so much power to that scale, but I do and I was loving the scale on Wednesday.  That brings my total loss to 7.6 pounds in 4 weeks. . .just at that .5 - 2 lb weight loss per week that WW says you will be at if you are on program. . .

After WW I celebrated my loss with a yummy lunch at Chipotle. . instead of my usual 7.5 lunch, I will tell you I had a 14 point lunch.  But my breakfast was so small (3 egg whites for 1 point and fruit), that was okay and I was virtually (okay, 2-3 points more) around the same place point wise after lunch than if I had my 5 point breakfast and 7 or 8 point lunch.  This week what made it 14 points is that I had black beans instead of pinto (forgot that black was 1 point higher) and I had cheese (extra 3 points) and a whole chicken serving instead of half (so 5 points versus 2.5 points).  But it was delicious.

But then it bugged me. . .why did I celebrate with food? I am still clearly in that mindset of celebration equals food.. .I mean it was fine to go to lunch with my friend Karen, but why not call it a lunch and eat the same way I had last week?  Why call it a celebration and eat more?  Yes, I tracked and yes I made conscious choices, but again, why celebrate with food?  Hmmm. . .I am sure it just in my DNA and a large (no pun intended) contributor to why I am where I am weight wise.

The rest of the day went by uneventful. . .oh wait, I did make an exciting discovery.  Regular sour cream has only 1 point for 2 tablespoons and I have not found anything else yet to be as satisfying on a baked potato. . .I was happy to know that at least in moderation and much more sparingly than before, I don't have to give up my sour cream.  And while there are lots of food that can be swapped for light or fat free, sour cream just doesn't cut it for me in that department.  Neither does veggie dip for me. . .I need either full fat or no dip at all. ..so I am learning to munch on my raw veggies plain or with salsa for no points.  Sometimes I will do 2 tablespoons of hummus with my veggies for a protein filled and low point snack. 


I did set my alarm to get up early and workout on Thursday. . .but I didn't.  Oh, I got up early alright. . .Allie woke us up at 5am and said her loose tooth HAD to come out NOW (that is Rich's department, so not mine) and even though Rich was the one to deal with it (which it still wasn't loose enough to come out), he got back in bed and was snoring in seconds and I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I played on my phone, finished watching Hawaii 5-0 from 3 weeks ago and then realized I was too late to work out. . .

For my late afternoon dairy snack I did have a grande Skinny Cinnamon Dulce Latte from Starbucks for 3 points - it kept me warm while Allie's was playing soccer and satisfied some of my dairy requirements for the day.  I figure that 1 cup of skim milk is 2 points and not nearly as satisfying or exciting as my Starbucks drink. ..that was a brilliant move on my part, I think!

I got creative for dinner and had a Morning Star Veggie Griller for 3 points, 1 cup of couscous (7 points) with cilantro, tomatoes and onions all mixed up. . .it was very good and very filling. .

So I am facing a challenge tomorrow (Saturday) night that I am already stressing about.  Its an event with my temple, I think its called a Dessert Reception.  Do you see the word - DESSERT???

So, do I hope they have fruit and stick to that?  Do I carry fruit with me?  Do I print off a sheet of every possible dessert on the planet and save 10 points for the end of the day and figure out the points as I see the desserts?  Its the first time since I have been on WW that I have been thrown into this situation and I just haven't quite decided the best approach for me yet.

I am trying to look on the positive side. . in the past I probably would have had the attitude "oh, just be careful and do what you want and you can start on program again the next day and just don't track" - this time I have no interest in doing that, I want to stay on program and not set myself up for failure.  And really, sweets are a trigger food for me and I'd really prefer to stay away from them.  I have managed to stay away from them (other than the WW frozen treat I have at night for 2 or 3 points) and I think that, FOR ME, is a huge part of staying on program.  I can't have JUST ONE.  Once I have JUST ONE - I want more, and more, and more. . .
And then I kind of think isn't it sad that more than 24 hours before, I am worrying more about the food aspect then looking forward to seeing friends and having a good time.. .but that brings me back full circle and so much of a good time is surrounded by food and how hard will the mental gymnastics being playing in my head when I see the food spread tomorrow evening.

Makes me wonder if all my skinny minny friends who I see rarely touch food at parties (yes, those are the moms that always refuse birthday cake at kids' birthday parties.. .and for the record, I never have yet- I mean, I love cake - well, so long as its butter cream frosting.  The whip cream frosting I can say no too...) have mental gymnastics going on in their heads or not. .. probably not and that is why they are naturally thin.  I like to refer to as the Thin Gene- you either have it or you don't.  I mean overweight people can get thin and work hard towards it -but usually with lots of hard work and self-discipline and mental gymnastics.  Those with the Thin Gene just are. . .I'd like to bottle up their DNA and spray some on when it comes to Dessert Receptions.

Days 25 & 26 - How in the World Can You Start a Diet Before the Holidays?

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said/asked that to me over the last 26 days, I could certainly pay for WW next month.  My answer is always the same and very simple - I WAS READY.  Really - that is my answer.  Nothing more and nothing less. 

I had devoured one too many of Allie's Halloween candy bars and I had hit my low.  My bottom.  And while every day is a struggle for me and I truly take it day by day, for the first time in years and years I have to say that for me I am in that zone that Nothing Tastes as Good as Looking Good. . .at least for this 5 seconds.

A friend asked me today if she should also join WW.  Or if she should do another diet.  I cannot advise anyone else, I can only go with my experience in that in the past for all the times I started a program after spending time going back and forth in my head as to whether I am ready, I never ever stuck with it.  Never. This time I think it was on  Monday night that I had reached my bottom and by Wednesday I was at Weight Watchers. Not a lot of hemming and hawing  - just doing.

And tomorrow is my weigh-in day and my 4th week on WW. . .I didn't eat too many bananas this week, I didn't go out every night and I didn't exercise and I stayed within my points and only consumed about 1/3 my Weekly Points Allowance versus almost all of them the previous week. . .I really need to scale to treat me right this week.

And I did make a fabulous food discovery tonight!!  Trader Joe's has a Cioppino that is sooooooooo tasty and only 4 points per 1/2 cup - yummy!!! 

Days 23 & 24 - Exciting Food Finds

OK - so let me throw it out there, have not exercised since walking my 1 3/4 miles on Thursday evening. . .Thought about it this morning when I woke up early to pee, but opted to return to the cozy covers of my bed and got sucked into playing Hanging With Friends (which if you ask me is far more enjoyable than Words With Friends) and then it was conveniently too late to work out. . .

Somehow I find the eating part easier to embrace than the working out part. . .hopefully in time the working out part will come easier.

Saturday and Sunday moved on by without anything earth shattering to share.  Although I did discover 2 great food finds.

My first is the restaurant First Watch.  While they have a fair amount of reasonable to low point choices, I had an EXTREMELY low point meal that was satisfying.  A white egg omelet with tomatoes, onions and salsa for 2.5 points and a dry English Muffin for 3 points.  My meal also came with a side of fruit that is of course zero points.  A 5.5 meal, at a restaurant, that was tasty and satisfying - very exciting in my world!

Secondly, thanks to my daily emails from the Hungry Girl, I discovered Tofu Shirataki Noodles.  They were not bad and I might even go so far as to say they were kinda good. . .I will have to experiment more with them as I just used them for a side dish last night.  I had 3 ounces of steak (I shudder to think of the amount of cow I used to consume just a few weeks ago) and 1 cup of these noodles for zero points and 1/2 cup of marinara from Whole Foods for 1 point.  They were certainly more like spaghetti than spaghetti squash pretends to be! :-)

I am looking forward to trying some of the other recipes that Hungry Girl has for these noodles. ..this could be a great find for a carb junkie like me!

Finally, I do think its worth mentioning that I did bypass getting sucked into the donuts that were permeating my class on Sunday for snack that was brought in by not one, but 2 parents.  I busied myself by munching on some air popped popcorn & apples and chatting with some of the parents of my students, but boy did those donuts look tasty every time I looked at them.   And now that I think about it, I had to walk away from donuts at my daughter's soccer practice on Saturday as well.

Where were all these free donuts when I wasn't counting points????

Days 21 & 22 - Walked 1 and 3/4 miles!

The most remarkable thing about Thursday was that while I stayed on program and within my points, I walked 1 3/4 miles at Allie's soccer practice.  For 3 years now at the twice weekly practices I have done nothing other than sit and chat with the parents and indulge in snacking.  I have even watched some of the skinny minny Moms walk and one or two of the Dads jog around the track.  But nope, I have never ever moved my tush other than to maybe get out of they way of a flying soccer ball.

This Thursday I texted one of my mommy soccer friends before practice and asked her if she wanted to walk and she immediately said yes.  I couldn't decide if I was happy or now dreading my precious chat time. . .Well, we walked 7 times around the track and while it took 50 minutes, I felt so good and enjoyed some great chat time too!!!  Speaking of taking 50 minutes, when I logged onto the WW website to input my activity points, there were lots and lots of choices under walking.  Race walking? No.  Speed Walking/? clearly no at 50 minutes.  High Impact Walking?  I think not.  Finally after scrolling through lots of different walking options I chose the most appropriate one - walking at less than 3 miles per hour.  Well, better than nothing, right?

On Friday I knew my challenge would be taking Allie to concert that evening and what i would do for dinner.  I decided to have a snack before going, dinner seemed too early at 5pm.  I figured there would be SOMETHING I could have at the arena.    I opted for a 5 point snack before leaving - popcorn and yogurt.  That brought me to 11 points.  While there were a plethora of high point options, there were very few, if any, low point options.  I finally stumbled on a Samurai Sam's and had their chicken terr & veggie bowl with no rice.  My best guestimation was that it was about 5 ounces of chicken and so I said it was 6 points - the veggies were vile, so I didn't touch them.  Well, I ate this at 6:30 and by 9:30 I was starving and the concert was far from being over.  I thought I had my fill of popcorn during the afternoon and i really needed something with protein.  I dug in my purse and was thrilled to discover a hidden and smushed zone bar - but 5 glorious protein points calling me!  And there were my 11 points for the day!!

We ended up getting home around midnight and while I was exhausted, i was sooooooooooo hungry again!  Too hungry to even go to bed.  So, I used 2 points of my Weekly Points Allowance (I still have 40 left) and had a 1 point piece of fiber bread with 1 point worth of Turkey on it.  I then promptly got ready for bed.

Lessons to be learned - the one time you are at a place with no fruits and veggies and low point options is NOT a good time to forget to leave the sliced apples and snap peas you always travel with in your purse.

Days 19 & 20 - Who knew you could have too many bananas?

So, Tuesday went by uneventful (other than working up my dread for getting on the scale on Wednesday at my meeting). .. stayed within my points and knew I was finishing the week with 20 points left in my Weekly Points Allowance and 8 activity points that I had "earned" for exercising that I could "eat" if I wanted.  So, while on one hand I was dreading the weigh-in because my scale was not showing the love, on the other hand I kind of expected a weight loss because I ultimately did say on program, I didn't go over points and I even exercised 2 times that week!

So, come Wednesday morning I woke up starving.  I hemmed and hawed about eating because I didn't want it to cause a weight gain -I wanted to use every possible weight loss opportunity I had.  But really, I was soooo hungry!  So I had a healthy 5 point breakfast of a double fiber english muffin for 3 points and a Morning Star veggie sausage patty for 2 points.  I also drank 2 glasses of crystal light - I knew I would certainly pee before the weigh in, so I felt ok.

So, come time for the meeting and I timidly, but excited to hopefully get another sticker, step on the scale and BOOM, I see the look on the lady's face who is weighing me in...she glances up and says "really good week for Thanksgiving". I take my chart back and see I went up .2 pounds.  And like she has the power to change the scale I said "but, I didn't go off - I stayed within my points".  She simply shrugged, looked at me a bit sadly  and said there will be ups and downs and if I am on program it will equal out to a loss of 1-2 lbs per week.

Well, SHIT.  I didn't expect that news in only my 3rd week.  I mean as much as I was dreading the scale I was obviously expecting it to go down because I was sooooooooooooooooo disappointed.  As I said to a friend of mine, if you don't study for a test and you don't do well, you can only blame yourself and you might hope to do well, but can't really expect to do well.  But if you study really hard, it is fair to hope and expect you do well and if you do poorly on a test you studied for, it is so frustrating and disappointing.  Well, despite my challenging week that started off with an insane amount of points for a Chinese dinner, I worked hard the rest of the week staying on program and even exercising and I FRIGGEN GAINED .2.  Ok - I know, I know, if WW still had the old-fashioned doctor scales, you couldn't even see .2 and it would appear I maintained and not gained, but still - WHY DIDN'T I LOSE?  ANYTHING?  EVEN .2? LOL.. .

So after the meeting I stayed after a bit to chat with the leader and share my frustration and see what her thoughts were - did you really expect any less from me?

At first we decided that because I had eaten out dinner almost every night the previous week that my estimations for points were probably wrong.  I mean, I can't tell if there are 20 or 50 people at a party - maybe I can't tell if I am eating 3 ounces or 6 ounces of protein?


Then as we were talking more, she wanted to make sure I was getting my fruits and vegetables.  I said ABSOLUTELY, I know for sure I am there.  I eat at least 1-2 bananas a day, carry a bag of snap peas and apples with me that I snack on all day and eat grapes at home quite a bit too.  And while I didn't really think anyone was laughing AT me, the laughter erupted in the room (and before you wonder any more, no I am not constipated. ..just sayin'. . .that was everyone's question when they heard about the amount of bananas I was eating. .lol)..  The leader said that was my problem. She asked me how many I was eating a day and I said I had no clue because I wasn't tracking fruits and vegetables because they are FREE.  And there-in lies the problem -she said Free is not really free. . .its kinda sorta free, within reason.  Or at least the high sugar fruits and vegetables are not free - those I need to make sure to keep track of or I could be adding a few extra hundred calories (my bananas were by no means small - they were LARGE. . .and a large banana has 120 - 130 calories).

So, in the end the leader felt it was not my going out - it was probably my fruit consumption.  Really - I mean I go from too much chocolate to too many bananas?  Never thought bananas would keep me fat. . .

So, we made a plan that I would track my fruit and see where it leads me next week.  I suggested getting rid of the exercise because that was the ONLY truly new thing I did this week from the previous 2 weeks - makes sense to me - right?

Then as I walked to my car, 2 really nice ladies shared their thoughts with me. . .in the nicest way possible they told me to lighten up and accept that my body is going to fluctuate and know that if I stay on program I will lose over time.  Its just hard to hit that wall in week 3, that is all I am sayin'. . .

Chipotle.   I have never done WW with other people before and that has been soooo amazingly helpful to me.

I also find the helpful hints and cheers and support from everyone who reads my blog helpful and sooooooooooo appreciated. . .I just hope by next week we are cheering because there is less of me and not more of me.